Meet Joe

Today at lunch, Steve and I were trying to teach Zach his full name. The conversation went something like this...

Steve: My name is Steve Miller. What's your name mommy?

Me: My name is Marcia Miller.

Steve: (to Zach) What's your name?

Zach: (says nothing)

Steve: Is your name Zachary Miller?

Zach: Um, no. Me name is Joseph Miller.

Who is Joseph Miller?

Christmas, birthdays and snowmen

I've been sitting on this blog post for quite a while writing and rewriting in my mind to try and capture our Christmas. It is much easier for me to write about one specific event then to try to coherently put together little snippets from over a week of celebrating...but here we go.

We all had a wonderful Christmas full of family, food and gifts! Our celebration started a week early with a snow "storm" on Saturday (we received a whole 4 inches in this blizzard). For those devoted blog followers you will remember that last year I rushed out into the snow with Zach and he mostly cried while I endeavored to show him how much fun snow could be. One year older and Zach was very willing to embrace the snow experience, in fact even though all the snow has melted Zach still asks if we can go outside to play in the snow. This storm marked our family's first snowman, first snow angel and first snow ball fight!

After the nor'easter the Christmas eating began! For about eight days we had one family gathering after another where we opened presents and ate and ate and ate. Of course Zach loved being the center of attention and he enjoyed opening everyone's presents. He was a full service Santa because he would not only hand deliver your gift but then he would unwrap them for each person. (As a cute little side note, Zach called Santa, "Sofa" this year, we're not sure why.)

In the midst of everything my little baby turned three years old!!! And my other baby turned 3 months! Zach is at such a fun age because his language has really taken off. He was fully aware of it being his third birthday and he wanted cake and presents. I made cupcakes for the big day and we enjoyed them while celebrating Christmas at my grandmother's house on the 26th. Zach's cupcakes were topped with a big number "3" candle that he had found and had been carrying around all week!

I'm glad to be getting back to our quiet routine and detoxing from all of the sugar!

Whoa!

This week Zach threw out another great comment that has left me chuckling for days...

I recently got my hair cut very short and one morning while I was in the process of blowing it dry, Zach called for me to help him get down from the table. My head was flipped upside down to dry my hair so I quickly stood upright and walked out to assist him. Upon seeing my poof-ed out head of hair, his spontaneous comment was, "Whoa!"

To remember

I was up nursing Elijah last night and I had one of those rare revelations when you can suddenly see the bigger picture. And I realized in a flash that this moment with him was going to be over and I would never fully remember the exact feeling of his newborn skin or the exact sound of those contented newborn coos. Every seasoned parent tells new parents that they must savor each moment with their children because it is over so quickly, and I've experienced that a little bit with Zachary. It was just yesterday that I was nursing and snuggling him and now he tells me that, "I can't play right now. I have some writing to do." And it's amazing to me how the tough moments with Zach stand out in my mind more than those quiet close moments nursing and rocking him. I suppose it takes holding a baby to remember just how precious they are.

So I'm writing this uncharacteristically sentimental blog to try to capture what no camera and certainly no blog can really capture, and that is the amazing feeling of a baby's weight on your shoulder snuggling his face into your neck or those sweet little alert eyes or the gentle rhythm of their breathing or that feeling of being central and most important in your helpless child's life. Parenting has been the single biggest challenge of my life thus far but last night at least, I saw how quickly it would be done and all the second-guessing and fatigue and lost patience would be over too. I hope that when it's finished I come away with a lasting memory of last night and the many other 'last night' moments that happen each day.

Christmas Card pictures

At the end of October we took our family picture for this year's Christmas card. These are some of my favorite outtakes and I think they give you a better idea as to how the day went! Enjoy Zach's expressions, he really is quite the ham!

Miscellaneous Bits

Like most of you, this month has been very busy with Christmas preparations! I love this time of year and I'm more excited about giving Zach his gifts than he is to receive them. We have done some decorating, shopping and baking and then at night I've been attempting to sew Zach a card table fort! This is my first solo attempt at sewing anything since I usually attach myself to someone talented and let them tell me what to do, but I thought since I couldn't buy a fort that I liked I would try making one. So far I'm really pleased with how it is turning out, the miracle will be if it actually fits on the card table (and yes I did measure first but that is still no guarantee).

So far Elijah has kept his bright blue eyes and I'm beginning to hope that perhaps they will stay blue or green...they could, right? He continues to eagerly accept all the meals offered to him and he is outgrowing clothes and gaining weight rapidly! I don't know exactly how much he weighs but he no longer fits in his 3-6 month sleepers or his size 2 diapers so I think he's pushing 16 pounds! Who would have thought that Steve and I would have a chunky blue-eyed baby?!?

The game

Yesterday while riding in the car, Zach began to play scream and then he would fall into a giggling fit. I didn't understand what the 'game' was at first (although in hindsight I should have recognized the laugh) but with the assistance of mirrors I was able to put together the pieces.... Zach was screaming every time Eli got cozy and fell asleep in his car seat, then Eli would give a big startle and open his eyes resulting in his evil brother's laugh! Poor Eli. I tried to reprimand Zach and tell him that his game wasn't kind but the truth is I found it pretty funny too!

These pictures are from one of Zach's more 'helpful' moments when he brought Elijah all of his toys so that Eli could play too.

A Short Hospital Stay

This past week brought about a significant event in our lives when Elijah was admitted to the hospital with RSV. It all started with Zach getting sick last weekend. On Tuesday (day 5 of his illness) when he still had a fever I decided it was time to go see the doctor. We had tried to keep the boys separated and to be vigilant about hand washing but unfortunately Eli began coughing on Tuesday so I went ahead and had the doctor look at him also. Zach was diagnosed with an ear infection, pneumonia and probably the flu and Eli was pronounced as still sounding clear but probably coming down with what big brother had and she made some quip about the week being young...(just great, I thought!)

Thursday morning at 4am Eli awakened and sounded wheezy and congested. I briefly considered taking him to the ER but I thought that it was probably being a little over anxious. That morning when the doctor's office opened I called and got an appointment for 1:30 that afternoon. As the day progressed Elijah's breathing sounded worse and worse but I was still taken by surprise when our doctor immediately sent us to the emergency room I had no idea that the congestion and wheezy breathing I was hearing was actually him struggling to get enough oxygen! In our local hospital they administered a breathing treatment and started an IV, they also collected samples to run some tests. The test results came back as positive for RSV and we were told that we would need to go to a hospital with a PICU in case things got worse. At 8pm Elijah and I were transported via ambulance to University of Maryland Hospital in Baltimore.

Thankfully, as bad as things could have gotten, Elijah remained fairly stable throughout the whole sickness. It was very difficult to watch him struggle for breath, now that I knew what it looked and sounded like, but apparently it can be much worse and the doctors kept telling me he looked good for a 7-week-old with his diagnosis. The hospital continued to monitor Eli for the few days we were there and they offered him support through nasal suction and some humidified oxygen near his face but basically he had to fight off the virus on his own.

During the drama with Elijah we had to take care of a sick and somewhat emotional Zachary. Steve and I were not comfortable abandoning Zach during this time so we tried to keep him with us to provide him with some stability. Unfortunately the hospital was not allowing children inside the building at all so it got a little crazy trying negoiate our noble goal. I would leave Eli, run down to the main entrance get Zach and then Steve would run upstairs to be with Eli, then later we would switch again. I spent nights at the hospital and Zach and Steve stayed with some family friends that live near Baltimore. So for about three days Steve and I weren't in each others presence for more than one minute as we made the Zach pass-off. The whole experience was exhausting, emotionally and phyisically. I was very grateful Saturday late afternoon when they said that Elijah could go home! (I was doubly grateful to be going home because we had been waiting for the results of a bacteria test that if positive would have meant that Eli needed to be in the hospital with IV drugs for another seven days!) At home that evening Zach said grace for our dinner. Steve prompted him to be thankful that Elijah was home, which Zach repeated exactly during his prayer but then he added, "Thank you that mommy and daddy are right here!"


I took this picture on Monday...he is obviously making a full recovery!

Trick or Treat

For Halloween this year Zach was a Red Sox baseball player (shocking, right?) complete with batting helmet, official baseball pants, eye black, bat and glove. The great thing about his costume is that he is getting a lot of use out of the batting helmet both indoors and out. Elijah went trick-or-treating as a rather disgruntled pumpkin, which I didn't really blame him for since he was lugged in and out of the car without the benefit of receiving any candy.

Our evening involved a lot more driving than I remember as a child since we drove to each grandparents' house. At each stop we rang the door bell, Zach was prompted to say, "trick or treat" and then we were invited in for a quick visit (this is what happens when you only go to the houses of family and close neighbors-it ends up being more visiting than candy-gathering). At the end of the evening we made one final stop at our new next door neighbor's house, who we don't really know, and after receiving the candy Zach proceeded to walk into their house for the 'visit' portion of trick-or-treating!

When it was time to go bed later that night, Zach insisted on bringing his bucket of candy into the room and he fell asleep holding on to an unopened tootsie roll pop.

One Month

Baby Elijah is one month old today! Already he is lifting his head and having longer 'alert' times during the day. He displays wonderful dimples when he smiles in his sleep and he is a terrific eater, as evident by his incredible weight gain. He sleeps pretty well at night giving me 3-4 hours at a time but during the day he is only content when he is being held! Even so, we think he is a pretty amazing little guy.

Just pictures...

Pemberton Park

In case we weren't struggling enough trying to adjust to life as a family of four, Steve came down with the flu Friday night! (a nurse friend told us that he has had the swine flu because the regular flu is not "out" yet?!?--just great!!) I had looked forward all week to Steve being home for the weekend to help keep everyone 'in play'...but instead I had to banish him to the guest room and told him not to come out until he was fever-free. Of course we shifted into huge efforts for clean hands (with a toddler--an impossible task) and I tried not to be nervous about my two week old baby contracting the flu... Somehow we managed to scrape through the weekend with me only occasionally knocking on the quarantined room asking if he was "better yet?". (I should also mention that a healthy Steve emerged from the sick room yesterday and went to work today!)

Zach has been "asking" for more attention lately, which is hardly surprising since mommy's arms are always full of Elijah. (His "asking" usually involves him unrolling the toilet paper, dumping all of his toys out, emptying baskets of laundry, or smearing yogurt all over the table.) So yesterday I decided to drag myself, Elijah and Zach to the park for a walk, thankfully my sister was also able to come and help me juggle everyone. At one point, unprompted, Zach looked up at me and said, "We're having fun!" It broke my heart and I resolved to try and give him more positive, undivided attention...we'll see how long my good intentions last.

Zach-isms

Everyone always tells me that I must record the little sayings and words that our children use otherwise, as cute as they may be right now, we will in fact forget them. Today, Zach said a "new" one and I thought I would try to record not only the new one but some of the old ones too.

This morning while Zach was getting dressed he told me that he, "Wants to keep his ja-mama shirt on!" (that would be pajama)

The brown delivery truck that might come to your house once in a while is a U-Piss truck! (UPS)

Some mornings Zach does not awaken until after Steve has left work. On these days when I go into the room he will ask for Daddy and I reply that he is at work. Zach's response every morning is, " Bis not!" (We think this is, It's not!)

Tomatoes used to be called tray-moes.

And chicken with bones still in was "chicken on the bum".

Also whenever Zach was playing with an excavator or dump truck he would use a scooping motion with his arm and say, "A dump-it-da-thru-it!" We have no idea what this meant but it had something to do with scooping and dumping associated with construction trucks!

Bad Dreams

(Warning: This blog entry should not be read if you are still considering having children!) Last night Steve, Elijah and I crashed into bed at 10pm utterly exhausted from two previous nights of not getting enough sleep. At 2am I awakened to nurse Elijah and actually had the passing thought that, 'this night isn't as bad as last night'. Eli was waking up, nursing and going right back to sleep -- perfect! This morning, looking back I can't quite fit all the pieces in chronological order but I will try and hope that those of you who have had this 'night' before can laugh with (or at) me!

2am. Eli wakes up and I changed his diaper. (This little sentence requires some explanation to appreciate so... a diaper change at this point requires a great deal of "stuff" and almost perfect timing, precision and reflexes. First you must get a warm washcloth... this is necessary because Eli is healing from his circumcision and the chemicals in the wipes would hurt him. Now warm water in our house at 2am is not a quick thing so I turn on the bathroom faucet and go prepare the rest of my ammunition. Gauze and A&D ointment are next. I spread the ointment on the gauze and then open up a newborn diaper, because once you unleash the old diaper you only have seconds to get everything in place before you have to start over again adding a change of everything into the mix, if you catch my drift. By this point the water is hot and I can get the final diaper changing piece, a warm washcloth. I then proceed with a lightning quick diaper change.)

Afterwards, we settle down to nurse. As Elijah begins to drift off I have that passing thought of this isn't so bad...when suddenly he wets through everything! So I change his diaper. (please see above side trail and add change of onesie and sleeper) By this point Eli is awake again so I nurse him to lull him back into that desired sleep mode....no luck. After many attempts I decide that it is time to awaken Steve to give me a reprieve.

3am. I awaken Steve and as he is getting up to hold Elijah I make the suggestion that since we are already awake maybe we should move Zach (who is a very sound sleeper) to his bed.

Zach wakes up.

Steve begins to hold and rock Elijah while Zach and I snuggle in bed with the hopes that we both fall back asleep quickly.

4am. Zach is crawling all over the bed wanting to hold and snuggle with Elijah, meanwhile, Eli, who is just falling asleep, wets through everything again. Steve changes his diaper. (add another change of onesie and sleeper to first mentioned diaper change story)

4:45am. Zach is asking for bread, Eli is still awake and mommy is crying for having ever entertained the idea of moving Zach to his bed. Eli is close to falling asleep and Steve offers to get up with Zach but I'm too frustrated at this point so I get up with Zach and move to the living room. Less than 5 minutes later, Steve comes out of the bedroom and says, "The nightmare continues. He just pooped through everything and needs 'the works' again." (Thankfully at this point my wonderful husband begins to laugh and is able to bring me around to see how the whole absurd night/morning is actually pretty funny.)

5:30am. Everyone back in bed and asleep at last!

I'm including pictures taken this morning of my two cherubs as proof that they are in fact both still alive and unharmed.

Welcome Elijah!

Zach became a big brother on Saturday, September 26, 2009. Elijah Gustav Miller was born at 3:18am weighing 8 pounds, 6 ounces.

Zach slept peacefully through the delivery and awakened to a new world order. He has taken to the change rather well. He is very gentle and sweet with Eli and wants to hold him, snuggle him and nurse him all the time. (We're pretty sure that Elijah is going to have to be one tough little guy.) During our first evening home Zach, Eli and Daddy were lying in bed and Eli started to fuss a little. Zach started patting him and said, "It's okay Elijah, mama's coming." Within a few hours from this sweet little story Zachary also announced that "Baby Elijah needs a shower." (Which was true since he hadn't had his first bath at that point!)

We are all thrilled with the new addition in our lives!

A Day Trip

On an impulse yesterday we took a long day trip to see some friends who we haven't seen for a year! Their son Josiah is Zach's age (only 3.5 months older, although with his language skills the gap still seems wider) and they are expecting their second son two days after our due date!

Yesterday was the first time we really got to enjoy the boys being so close in age and for us it was the first time we have really seen Zach 'play' with a peer. Most of the children that we are with are much older than Zach and he loves to be entertained by them, but yesterday we got to eavesdrop on little not-quite-three-year-old conversations as they played together. Steve's favorite was at the end of the day when both boys were well past normal bedtimes and we heard them saying, "No, stop it!" "No, you stop it!" "Stop it." "No, you stop it". It was stimulating conversation!

I preferred the running game they played together, which is apparently a reoccurring favorite at Josiah's house. Zach would say, "Come on Josiah, run!" and then he would take off around the kitchen, living room and foyer loop with Josiah hard on his heels, ending with big crashes into their respective daddies. The boys were delighted and repeated this game for quite some time while I was thrilled to not have to participate in all that running!

We had a very enjoyable day filled with simple everyday things; baseball, bubbles, trains, football, shucking corn and Settlers (for the adults)! I was hoping that Zach might take more of an interest in Josiah going to the potty but he eluded my strategy by following Josiah into the bathroom and then saying, "Oh" and walking out again as if that had nothing what-so-ever to do with him!

Waterpark

Over a week ago now we celebrated Steve's birthday and his having a day off with a family trip to a water-park!! (You can tell by how many pictures of Steve that I took where the real center of attention was!) The park was wonderful because most of it was geared for kids Zach's age and a little older. There was a Zach size pool and slides and then also a lazy river. (Thankfully I was spared from having any picture or video footage of a very pregnant me climbing into and out of those inner tubes. Not my most graceful moment...more like a large floundering fish.)

Our picnic lunch of sandwiches and grapes was supplemented with some delicious boardwalk fries (another highlight for Zach). Then after lunch we played eighteen holes of miniature golf. Zach swung his putter like he was hitting a baseball and when we tried to help him we got our shins whacked with his bat! Despite the bruises we all enjoyed Steve's birthday!