Tomorrow is the memorial service for Steve's 94-year-old step-grandfather, Harold Morton. He died on Tuesday, May 20th after living with us off and on since last August. I wrote these thoughts the day he died but haven't done anything with it until now and this weekend seemed appropriate to me.
These past 10 months we have had the privilege and burden of sharing the care of Steve's 94 year-old grandfather. Today he passed away. Of course with the finality of death I am unable to not look back at our memories with him; to feel remorse for my shortcomings as a caregiver, to feel sadness at our loss and to feel a guilty relief for myself, as well as for him, at it being finished.
He was not an easy man to care for, yet I am glad that we had the opportunity to know him and for our boys to know him. The Lord used him in our lives to bring us to a lesser view of our selves and a greater need for Him. I trust that the Lord, in His infinite wisdom and unending patience, was able to use us in Gramps' life as well.
I will remember with fondness his dry wit and keen humor. I will remember his eating dinner with us at the table, joining hands with my boys and bowing his head in prayer. Tender memories, mingle with the funny and maddening ones from his many, many confused 'moments'. Already the weighty feelings of responsibility and bitterness are mellowing into a warm tenderness towards a passed life, a life that was both extremely generous but most often, grumpy.
1 comment:
Thank you for putting this up -- for your honest and gracious words. I didn't know that he'd passed away. I hope the memorial service will be a good celebration of his life and a blessed time for the family to be together. Please pass on our condolences and prayers to Steve. And...I trust the passage of time will (rightly) dispel any feelings of doubt about your role as a caregiver in his last months. I can't tell you how many times Jesse and I have commented in some awe about your capacity this past year to manage both the joys and the challenges of your life and family -- parenting, schooling, homebuilding, marriage, Gramps... Love you!
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